(Vintage) The Opening Scene

I used to draw comics from time to time, and one of my favorite characters to portray was a Caribbean lizard named “Zippy.” It’s one of the older stories you’ll see on Schreiben Depot, having been started before 9/11, and has stood uncompleted for seven years.

The opening scene

August 1, 2001

Kenneth Burchfiel

Zippy R. Zip is a Caribbean Mutated lizard. He has 4 arms, 4 wings (wings?) 12 fingers, two horns, and a spiked tail. He always wears Hawaiian shorts, and a Hawaiian vest. He always ends his sentences with “Mon” and talks in a funky Caribbean accent. He got drafted for the Caribbean football team when he was 12.

One day, Zippy came home from a football game and found a note taped to the door. It read:

Hey, Zippyzip,

You know your warty, pimply mom and your bratty, ugly dad? Well, you should thank me because I murdered them!

Zippy thought this over. His big brother, Kipper, was the meanest bully in the world. He had gotten expelled the first day of school, and had gotten arrested the second day. He used needles in his toy popgun and his favorite archery target was old grannies walking their dogs. He was definitely a big jerk, but would he murder his sweet, innocent parents?

Zippy was about to go inside when he noticed a second page. It said:

I’ve gone to a place will you will never find me, and I’ve left my gang around to kick your scrawny little but! This is the last yer gonna hear from me, Zip. See ya!

Signed, Kipper R. Zip

Zippy looked at the note once more, than went inside. His talking parrot, Squaky, saw Zippy and flew up to Zippy’s shoulder.

“This is bad, mon”, said Zippy.

“No kidding” agreed Squaky.

They went into the kitchen. Zippy was about to pour himself some orange juice when he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Look at that, mon”! Zippy pointed to some fresh blood spilling off the table.

Squaky flew down to check it.

“Pah, it’s just red food coloring!” He said, “but with this fake blood, I think there really wasn’t a murder. Probably just a hostage.” For a detective, Squaky was not bad. He knew a lot more than words, too. He could read, and even had a kind of handwriting, with the pencil between his teeth. He would read the latest Advanced Knowledge Magazine a page a day, so he knew a lot, too.

Squaky flew back up to Zippy’s shoulder.

“Zippy,” Squaky said, “You and I can’t live like this. We need to go out there and show Kipper who’s boss. Here’s the plan. You and I get past all those bullies, find the money we need to get past all of the boundaries, find the hideout, while we find places to eat and sleep, and then kick Kipper’s but!”

If Zippy was afraid then, he didn’t show it. “You’re right,” he said. “I’ll end the feud between Kipper and me once and for all!”

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