(Vintage) The Scariest Chipmunk

[I think this was part of a class assignment. At the time, I thought the “Oh baloney, it’s baloney” line was pretty clever, but my sense of humor has shifted after seven years. 🙂 ]

The Scariest Chipmunk of All Times

Based On A True Story

Kenneth Burchfiel


It started out as a normal day. A family was going on a hike in Yellowstone National Park. It was a long, 5-mile hike, and they were grateful to rest by a large waterfall.

They had also had bought lunch, and started to have their picnic. There was a large fallen log across a creek that you could walk on as long as you were careful, and the scenic waterfall that you could just gaze at, so it was a pretty nice place, all in all.

Well, who was hiding behind the bushes but the scariest, most fearless and most ferocious thing of all times, the CHIPMUNK!

It watched the dad with fearless, ferocious eyes, and started to crawl out of the hiding spot with its fearless, ferocious legs. Then suddenly, with its fearless, ferocious arms, it pounced on the dad’s lap and fearlessly, ferociously raided the inside contents of his sandwich!

Their dad gave a fearful scream, dropped the sandwich and ran away, yelling, “WATCH OUT! THE MOST FEARFUL THING IN THE WORLD IS HERE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

Well, that was before the chipmunk found out what was inside, and thought to himself, “Oh, baloney, its baloney!” And since the most fearless, most scary and most ferocious thing in the world had no liking for baloney, he settled back in his hiding spot, waiting for the next innocent victim. And who knows? Maybe he will strike again.


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